I nearly got into a fight once at school. I was around 12 years old, and I had stuck up for a friend who was being picked on. The bully didn’t like it, so picked a fight with me and scheduled it for the end of the school day! I was really scared and managed to wheel my bike out of school, pursued by a baying crowd, getting away with just being pushed around a bit. Friendship issues followed and it was tricky for a while. Having the support of my Mum and the school made a huge difference to surviving these unsettling times.
Supporting your child through friendship issues can be difficult, but with patience and empathy, you can make a real difference. Whether they’re struggling to make friends or dealing with a fallout, your role as a parent is crucial in guiding them.
You can be a great role model for your child. Show them how you nurture your own friendships—whether by listening, being kind, or sorting out misunderstandings calmly. Your child can learn valuable lessons from you, about communication, trust, and forgiveness.
If your child has a fallout with a friend, avoid the urge to jump in and “fix” the problem straight away. Instead, focus on acknowledging and validating their feelings. Let your child know it’s okay to feel upset or confused and offer them a safe space to express their emotions. By sitting with them in their sadness, you’re showing them that they are seen and heard—two essential needs for emotional well-being.
It can also be helpful to share your own experiences of friendship struggles from when you were young. This helps them to see that it’s normal to have these issues, they are a part of life. It can be comforting for your child to know you have had tricky experiences too and got through them.
If your child is struggling to make new friends, you can explore clubs and activities where they can meet others in a relaxed environment. Taking part in these activities can help them develop important social skills, even if it takes time for them to make true friendships.
If friendship issues keep occurring, don’t hesitate to speak to school. Schools can support children during playtimes and can offer small-group sessions that focus on developing friendship skills and self-confidence.
Remember, friendships take time and patience. With your support, your child will learn to make and maintain friends, and deal with the ups and downs of friendships with ever increasing resilience.
If you have any friendship advice or memories to share, leave a comment in the box below.
Joy offers a range of family support services. You can contact Joy to arrange a free 20-minute, no obligation call, to find out how she can best support you and your family.
www.joyrichardsoncoaching.co.uk
joy@joyrichardsoncoaching.co.uk
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