I once asked a parent I was supporting if they ever took any regular time out for themselves. The parent, an adoptive Mum dealing with a lot of challenges replied, ‘Oh yes, every Saturday morning I get time on my own.’ Great I thought, tell me more. Her reply was, ‘I go out on my own to do the big shop at Tesco.’ I understood where she was coming from. Having that time away from family can feel like a break but it is not self-care!
Self-care is taking time to look after your health and wellbeing. It is about creating daily routines that help promote your physical, mental, social, and emotional self.
As you get caught up in the whirlwind of parenting it’s easy to forget about self-care. I’ve been there and done that on many an occasion!
Try to avoid these common mistakes:
- Always thinking you must put your family first
- Losing yourself and forgetting what you need and enjoy in life
- Getting yourself depleted as it helps no one
It’s like being on a plane, if the oxygen masks drop down you need to put your mask on first before you put on your child’s. You can’t help your child if you are exhausted and overwhelmed.
Finding time within your busy day can be hard but if you have only one minute, use it. Open the back door and step outside, take some deep breaths, notice all the shades of green. It can make a huge difference. One Mum I know does the school run, gets home, and has 15 mins of daytime TV with a coffee. Another goes on her phone and looks at cloud pictures that have amusing drawings and captions added. Whatever floats your boat, enjoy these short pockets of time, guilt free!
Self-care is ideally integrated into your daily life. It replenishes your mind, body, and spirit and helps you get back in touch with yourself.
Practical self-care tips:
1 Set boundaries – say no when you need to
2 Schedule ‘Me Time’ – don’t feel guilty
3 Practice mindfulness – notice your breath, be present
4 Connect with others – family and friends are a great support
5 Create daily routines – it helps with time management and frees up your head space
6 Limit screen time – connect to yourself and your family with other activities
7 Quality not quantity – a small amount of quality time with your children can be more beneficial than hectic multi-tasking
8 Seek professional help – if you are struggling to cope, mental health professionals, coaches and mentors can provide strategies for managing stress and reorganising your life
Taking care of yourself, isn’t just a gift to yourself – it’s a gift to your entire family!
If you need support to help you get back on track and implement some of the above ideas, contact Joy to arrange a free 20-minute discovery call and find out how she can support you and your family at www.joyrichardsoncoaching.co.uk or on joy@joyrichardsoncoaching.co.uk
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