Need. It’s a funny old thing, isn’t it?
I was mulling this over while waiting for the Number 4 the other day, when I realised I urgently needed either an umbrella or a cagoule, followed by a cup of tea in front of a log fire. In June. So much for global warming.
There are all sorts of things that we know we really need. A good night’s sleep, for instance. A roof over our heads. Exercise, fruit and vegetables, fresh air and functional domestic applicances. Decent coffee. A refund from HMRC. That sort of thing.
However, life is rarely that straightforward. Because once you venture out, you very soon realise that you need all kinds of things that you never previously knew you needed.
Take my favourite place, Wombell’s, for instance. This is a veritable treasure trove of Things You Never Knew You Needed. The 19th century measuring tape in a fetching leather case, for instance, which my dresser drawer definitely needed. Or the ancient black telephone which will work at some point in the future, once I can afford to restore it. The long-case clock sans pendulum was definitely a Need. As were the oak chest, the stuffed dog, the wine funnel, the two corner cupboards, the three wine tables and the four wastepaper baskets. Not to mention the grape scissors (every house needs a pair) and the lobster picks. Some things are so good that you need to buy them twice (knife boxes, for instance). The fur coat, meanwhile, is what everyone needs while waiting for the Number 4 on a cold May day.
If this sounds unreasonable, then bear in mind all the items that I didn’t need at Wombells. A life-sized metal stag statue, two figurines of harvesters, and a lute, for instance. On second thoughts: I do perhaps need a lute. Ah well, there’s always next time.
However, it’s not just second-hand items which suddenly become Wholly Necessary. No: there are certain shops which specialise in Things You Never Knew You Needed.
Lakeland is a prime example. I know this, because I have just made a bulk donation to charity, in the form of a pizza stone, a silicone chocolate mould, a set of specialist bags for freezing soup and sauces, a set of Magic Balls for cleaning decanters, and four pop-up contraptions to prevent flies from landing on summer picnics. Well, I needed them at the time. Or I thought I might do, when I was overwhelmed with excitement in the shop. That said, I do use their wonderful comes-in-three-sizes plastic bags and their bag-clips on a more or less daily basis, which in fact proves that Lakeland is a shop that satisfies all Needs.
If you can bear to venture out of York, IKEA falls into a similar category, thanks to its Marketplace. On my last visit, I realised I needed a hard-boiled egg slicer, and my teenagers realised they needed a lint roller. It was worth the trip to Leeds.
Back on home turf, the Middle Aisle of Acomb Lidl is definitely to be avoided if you don’t want to discover that you really do need a TENS machine, a blood pressure monitor, a juicer, a steamer, a cordless drill and another spare duvet.
Of course, Barnitts is our own special shrine to Things You Never Knew You Needed. I can only think that Nicholas Rowe was in the Barnitts laundry department when he wrote: “My beating heart bounds with exulting motion”. As a result of said department, I possess a delightfully decorative collection of starch, old-fashioned soap suds, woolly wash, and an array of stain removers. Happily, the Barnitts laundry shelves merge seamlessly into the furniture polishing and sink-unblocking shelves, both of which offer further scope for anyone on the look-out for items they didn’t realise they were lacking. I think Jeyes Deodorising Bin Powder might fall into this category. As might yet another tin of silver polish, to add to the ones that are already proliferating in my under-stairs cupboard, but which I can never find.
I hardly dare to mention books at this point, as I own more than a few of them. Suffice it to say I only this week realised that I have always needed an old copy of How to Build a Caravan, while being side-tracked by the charity book shelf in Tesco. It sits very well next to The Manly Art of Knitting – another unforeseen Need, satisfied courtesy of the British Heart Foundation shop. The same shop may also have satisfied my previously unknown need for an interesting piece of fabric (to be filed away in the “may come in useful one day” cupboard) and an empty Stilton jar.
I fear this may make me sound like a hoarder. But when I look at my bulging bags heading charity-shop-wards, I feel quite relieved by the fact that I have not only satisfied my own compulsion to buy Things I Never Knew I Needed, but I’m helping other people to satisfy theirs, too. And there’s nowt wrong with that.
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